Love Like The Dark

The hardest piece of advice I have ever received goes like this: “Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”. I consider myself a good person, more than most in fact, however I have never been able to adhere to this particular nugget of wisdom. Truthfully I think we all want to be loved, even for just a minute. I always found love to be such an inadequate word, spanning from intense like to a lifetime of devotion. Cocking my head to the left and right I contemplated this funny little word in my head, love, love, love to the point where it began to sound funny, as if it were warped in some way.

I am angry at the word, angry at everything that it holds and holds back. I am angry that I don’t have it, that I have had it, that I have lost it, that I am again looking for it in perhaps all of the wrong places. I inhale deeply once, then again and grip the door making sure to turn off the light before I exit so as to shield the other body in the room from the confrontation of mine in stark light.

Sitting back down I have decided that love is how I feel about this dark room, about the soft music playing in the background and the ideas that have now begun to pool in my head that I must write down later. Love is how I relish in the sadness and the pathetic loneliness of this moment and still have the audacity to think of it as something to achieve as opposed to disdain. That is what love is, loving that which is at its worst or best.

Hate to Love

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Prudent

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71 thoughts on “Love Like The Dark”

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  7. I’m thankful that you stopped by my blog because it allowed me to find yours :) What a thoughtful and well-articulated piece. Your article really hit home – this tug of war with love is something I’ve experienced over and over again.

    Roshan

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  8. Having been loved, having lost, having written about it, I think there is one important element of being loved that is at the core of that desire – to love in return. When we want to be loved, deep inside we want to love…wrap our arms, our hearts, and our lives around someone else for their good.

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    2. Exactly!! The freedom to love someone entirely…to lose all care about me…that perfect state of wanting to do for her…wanting to give without agenda, simply be with her. Who knew this?? My new yard stick for the measure of one’s love…a whole other level that i never experienced.

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  9. Reblogged this on humanityonearth and commented:
    Such a wonderful a truthful quote. It takes great faith and courage to find love within before seeking it outside. Otherwise without what’s within, all other forms of love remain baseless and shallow. And so it is said, “Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”

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  10. Hey Miri, I’m pleased to meet you! Thanks for dropping by my nest :-)
    “Never use anyone else to dilute your own loneliness”… wow! Pause. Reflect. Deconstruct. You write beautifully.. this is a thoughtful piece.

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  12. Love is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; the mist in the valley that “covers over a multitude of sins”… but when the mist dissipates, the sins are still there. Love may be the greatest and longest-running illusion foisted upon mankind. Love is a placebo, ever weakened by its reciprocal nature. There is a better way. It is the way of compassion, the giving without expectation. Love may bring momentary pleasure, even happiness but it is compassion that opens the way to joy, ultimate fulfillment, and the deepest awareness of what it means to be alive as an intelligent, sentient, self-aware being.

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  14. It often finds you when you’re least expecting it, sometimes late, often after many hardships and failures, but it finds you if it’s meant to. And it will, because you are seeking it. So relax and let it come. xoxo

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  17. You’ve found your love. It’s here on this page, in your thoughts. You have found your love and it is the words you put here before us, to extend our little bit of consciousness through you, through your eyes and fingertips, through your emotions and musings. That’s the most satisfactory love of all, and it endures; it will be with you always. You are so lucky.

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  20. Love often turns into something alien and easily confuses us, since we try to use words and want to find or attach meaning to our feelings and thoughts. Dependence and commitment can turn something that we might once perceive as love into an all – consuming void. The void causes us to forget breathing. I see this piece as reaching the nonexistent end of the void, like coming up for air after being underwater for some time. I see the act of regaining one’s breath.

    Just my interpretation, though!

    -V

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  21. Love … is complex, we can experience love as an emotion, that is, a feeling connected with our body and mind, but also exists a higher sense of love, above emotions. When we live love only as an emotion, then thoughts, desires, attractions, cravings, etc etc comes together, creating a mess in our head and heart. That’s why suffering often comes together with emotional, passionate love. However, in our nature there are higher, finest levels of love, waiting for to be discovered: unconditional inner love, permanent, always shining, always within us. When we discover such love, we irradiate it, in all directions, and the need of to be loved vanishes, no longer necessary. Thanks for you like in my last post :) . Nice blog! I’m reading now some of your posts.

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  24. In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Then I found myself there, and I wanted to be comforted, taken care of, loved. When the hunger for being comforted, taken care of, loved goes, there will be darkness again. It is the primordial element we are made of.

    What an intense piece that touched something deep in my guts!

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  27. Wow! This is so beautifully written! :)

    I especially enjoyed this part:
    “I am angry at the word, angry at everything that it holds and holds back. I am angry that I don’t have it, that I have had it, that I have lost it, that I am again looking for it in perhaps all of the wrong places.”

    That is so honest and powerful.

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  28. Miri, so glad to find your blog. Your writing is sublime and deep in its introspection. I think you touch on the core of what makes us human and the lifelong quest to love and be loved, often losing the truth of love along the way. Very well done!

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  29. I get uncomfortable with the word love, It seems bandied around too much, overused. I’d be surprised if someone didn’t want to be loved, to feel that connection running between people (I am assuming people rather than things), Not sure I agree with (or even understand) your conclusion as to what love is, but who am I to question.

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